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The Practical Zen Master's avatar

In boundless loving compassion - in an infinite universe and unbroken time - there are no judgments ... there is only sharing and caring, insight and action … being all that we are - and all that we can be …

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

I long for that transcendence in this world! It’s a journey but it feels so good to make steps towards that ideal ❤️

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M Jones's avatar

What a fantastic, important, read!

I'm noticing Maple Maggots and shifts in Canada making things stupid again. I'm so very thankful we have a Liberal government that continues to remind us of the importance of inclusion. Most politicians in the US fight now would actually be prosecuted under our hate crime laws. How far we come and how far some people do their best to drag us back.

The fight against ignorance never stops!

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Thank you so much! Yes, it’s disheartening to watch, especially when considering how easily rights taken from some disappear from all. I will continue to do my best to educate, but I also should get to enjoy life a bit!!

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Cara Dolence's avatar

Hi from a new substack friend! I’m so happy you found a home where you can be fully yourself, although it’s continually disappointing that our mutual home country isn’t that place.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Isn’t it the truth!? We moved abroad because we always wanted the experience, but I’m wanting to stay for the change in environment!!

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Michelle Ray's avatar

I’m sorry that you have to feel like a refugee, my words not yours, but I don’t blame you. The high school where I worked created a beautiful mural for allies by the end of the school year it was covered up, until further notice. I left the school for other reasons, but I hope to God they fight to keep it up.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

It is a frightening time, which makes it all the more important to find joy where we can and embrace the things that make us feel safe and celebrated. Thank you for the support!! ❤️🌈

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Delaney's avatar

Oh, Gillian! I was led here by my brother, Adrian (With Gusto) and I am so thankful for this being my introduction to you. As a struggling cog in the US 'system' your bravery and subsequent joy is appreciated and celebrated! Thank you.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Any friend of Adrian’s is a friend of mine! Welcome and thank you. Love wins!!

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Maryellen Brady 💗📚's avatar

Happy Pride 🌈❣💛💚💙💜💗❣🌈

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Thank you! Feel the love!!

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FranB's avatar

Happy Pride Gillian. Hopefully, one day everywhere will be like Holland. x

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Here here! There are good people all over, it’s a matter of uniting them 🫶🌈

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Emily Fata's avatar

Happy Pride! Love this line-- "It took my moving to another country to realize I wasn’t being fully myself in my own life, and I have, as Barb Quicksilver would say, “been delivered.” I am glad you found a place where you can truly be yourself.

You touch on something really interesting here that I think can be applicable to so many of us living abroad. Sometimes an event or experience is triggering for us in our home country but a similar experience or event abroad can affect us differently. It's very healing to be able to experience something from a different lens with a little more distance.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

That is it exactly—I didn’t realize the ways I’d accepted less and now that I’ve seen things from a different perspective, it’s really hard to imagine settling again. Thank you so much for reading and reflecting, it means so much that you’re here!

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Jeremie's avatar

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable sharing about this Gillian 🙏

It's sad that you didn't feel safe in your home country, but I'm glad you found a place that is welcoming and where you feel you can be yourself unapologetically!

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

I didn’t realize how much I needed the new environment, but I am so glad for the new feeling of peace it has brought me. Thanks for your support my friend!!

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Jeremie's avatar

The importance of the environments we live in is highly underestimated in our society. It often takes to move to realize how good/bad it was "over there".

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

It’s so true! In a thousand different ways, I’ve seen how much I had just accepted rather than questioned!

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Rebecca K's avatar

It's so wonderful that you've found a place in the world where you can truly, unguardedly celebrate who you are--thank you for sharing such a personal post!

By the way, where *did* you go to college? I graduated from Grinnell!

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Well Mary B. James, it's another Pioneer! The world is as small as Poweshiek County!

Thank you so much for the kind words--as a fellow Grinnellian, I'm sure you know the magic that little campus holds. From Norris Hall to The Netherlands, it's been quite the journey to arrive at this place of personal growth and contentment.

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Rebecca K's avatar

Tiny world indeed! Lol I haven't had the words "Poweshiek" or "Norris Hall" in my head for years, thanks for the blast from the past!!

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

I went back before we moved abroad, it was so wild to see how much it had changed. They built a building AROUND the old ARH!

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VickieO's avatar

It breaks my heart to be reminded by your beautiful words of just how difficult life has been at times for you and William, as individuals and as a couple, over the years. I feel that you two have found a great place to live, to be able to exist and love as you desire. I will always be here to support and protect you both. Love you guys!

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

I know and feel your loving support in so many ways! Even though it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, I’m grateful for the life I have had and the lessons it has taught me along the way. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my darling William, believe me!

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Allen Kwon's avatar

What a beautiful blend of humor, vulnerability, and history. Thanks for showing us the quiet courage it takes to be fully yourself.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Thank you my friend for the support and kind words!! It’s been a journey and one of these days I keep hoping it’ll make sense 🫶

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Sevgül Sümer Dielemans's avatar

I'm so grateful to have met you and William and to count you both as friends. While I am sorry to read that you ever felt unsafe in the U.S., I’m glad you’ve found a place where you can breathe freely and feel secure. Know that wherever you are, we’re always beside you, behind you, and even in front of you if necessary—ready to support, protect, and stand with you as your friends, always ❤️🧡💛💙🩵💜🩷 Also, super cute to see photo of the young Gillian 😍

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Are you kidding me? I’m the lucky one! I am so glad for both you and Ad, you’re a big part of our feeling more at home in this new country. It means the world to have found kindred spirits and such fierce allies!!

Next time you’re over, I’ll show you the ones that I didn’t post…and I have some of William too 😘

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Sevgül Sümer Dielemans's avatar

Yay! Looking forward to it 😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

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Kitty Westin's avatar

Gillian - you are a gem and your wise, honest, courageous words should be required reading for all people who need to better understand what it means to be gay (and LGBTQ). I and LOVE the toddler pic- how adorable then and now. "love is never wrong" my friend.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Thank you so much! This piece means a lot and your kind words mean even more. It’s all about being curious and loving towards others, starting with ourselves!

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Justin's Dailies's avatar

Thank you for upgrading our environment, with me, to fall in love with our individual selves in new ways, and to use such newfound ways to enhance our life partnership, my dear husband.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

It’s been a positive step forward in so very many ways, my love!

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Kaila Krayewski's avatar

Gillian! This was both heart-wrenching and heartwarming to read.

This quote: "At some point in my life, I learned the world expected me to be ashamed. And for a long time, I believed it." Brought tears to my eyes. No one should ever have to feel like that.

I'm so glad that in moving abroad, you've found somewhere that has made you feel accepted, welcomed, and most importantly, unashamed. And good for you for doing that walk! 🤩🏳️‍🌈👬

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

I shed a few tears writing it, I can’t lie. It’s been a healing process to realize how deeply I’d settled into keeping myself private. We left the US for many different reasons, but the sense of safety to be ourselves and live our lives more freely were definitely on top of the list!

I surprised myself on that walk and I am so glad I did!

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